ああきっと、私のもやもやもいらいらも、ある人から見たら、「何言ってるの、あなた、これもこれもこれも持っているじゃない！ これ以上望んでどうするの」というような状況なんだろうな。自分のことしか見えていないことも、世界には、衣食住も満足に得られないような人たちがいることも分かっているのにな。
他の人の、私から見たらうらやましい、順風満帆の人生を送っている人でも、ストレスや悩み事があって、それを私が「え？ この人、こんな良い場所でこんなうらやましい生活送ってるじゃん！」と思うのと同じように。
8.29.2013
シングリズム― 何も考えずにとりあえず社会の潮流に乗って、そうでない人を不幸だと哀れむ人々のはなし
シングリズムという言葉がある。
独身の人に対する偏見だ。
思えば、とーーーーっても失礼な言葉だ。
あまりブログに愚痴は書きたくないんだけど、
何で、何で、結婚しているだけでえらいということになるのか謎だ。我慢しているから？ 私に言わせれば、なぜ我慢しなければいけないような人と生涯一緒にいることを誓ったのか、説明していただきたい。結婚していても、変な人はたーくさんいる。暴言を吐く人も、嫌がらせをする人も、なんでこんなに人に冷たくできるの？と思うような人も。逆に、独身の人格者もたーくさんいる。
結婚して子供を育てて、それが幸せな人は良いけど、それがえらい、それをしていない人はまるで不完全みたいな言い方はしないでほしい。彼らは好きでそうしているんだし、子供がいることによってお世話かけたり面倒をかけたりすることはたくさんあるんだから。彼らが日本の人口減を食い止めるためにそうしているなら、高尚な精神といえなくもないが、その前に、なぜこの人口爆発の時代に人口減少を食い止める必要性があるのかについて論じていただきたい。
それぞれの人生の選択があるんだから。
そして、結婚も子育ても一人ではできないんだから、その人だけではどうしようもないことだってあるでしょう？ ただ、自分が通ってきた道がそうだったから全ての人がそうするのが普通と思っていて、人から言われたからそれをえらいと思っていて、そうしない人はえらくないと思っている。そんなの、全然自分で考えていない。
良い人にめぐり会って、結婚までできて、なおかつ子供にも恵まれるのは運なんだから。たまたま宝くじに当たった人が、当たっていない人に向かって、「あなた、なんでまだ当たっていないの？」と聞くようなものだ。それを親切心（を装った優越感）で言っているから余計に腹立たしい。もちろん、そういう人ばかりじゃないけど、極論すると、労働の義務も、納税の義務も果たしている独身者よりも、その2つを果たしていない子持ちの主婦の方がえらいっていうの？ どちらがえらいなんてない。それぞれの人生を、それぞれで選んで生きているだけなのに。社会通念化した価値観は恐ろしい。慣習に限りなく近くなり、理由を問うことも、理屈を付けることもされなくなり、ただそれが絶対悪／絶対善となって人々の心に植えつけられる。
今度言われた時のために、ぐうの音も出ないように冷静に反撃するにはどうしたら良いか。自分でもしょうもないと思うが、自分は幸せだよーあなた、なぜそうしないの？と相手を不幸だと決め付ける人には我慢ならない。相手がどう感じるか予想できたら、そんなことが言えるかしら。
人をいらいらさせない話し方って、実は、「話さない」ことだったりして。
独身の人に対する偏見だ。
思えば、とーーーーっても失礼な言葉だ。
あまりブログに愚痴は書きたくないんだけど、
何で、何で、結婚しているだけでえらいということになるのか謎だ。我慢しているから？ 私に言わせれば、なぜ我慢しなければいけないような人と生涯一緒にいることを誓ったのか、説明していただきたい。結婚していても、変な人はたーくさんいる。暴言を吐く人も、嫌がらせをする人も、なんでこんなに人に冷たくできるの？と思うような人も。逆に、独身の人格者もたーくさんいる。
結婚して子供を育てて、それが幸せな人は良いけど、それがえらい、それをしていない人はまるで不完全みたいな言い方はしないでほしい。彼らは好きでそうしているんだし、子供がいることによってお世話かけたり面倒をかけたりすることはたくさんあるんだから。彼らが日本の人口減を食い止めるためにそうしているなら、高尚な精神といえなくもないが、その前に、なぜこの人口爆発の時代に人口減少を食い止める必要性があるのかについて論じていただきたい。
それぞれの人生の選択があるんだから。
そして、結婚も子育ても一人ではできないんだから、その人だけではどうしようもないことだってあるでしょう？ ただ、自分が通ってきた道がそうだったから全ての人がそうするのが普通と思っていて、人から言われたからそれをえらいと思っていて、そうしない人はえらくないと思っている。そんなの、全然自分で考えていない。
良い人にめぐり会って、結婚までできて、なおかつ子供にも恵まれるのは運なんだから。たまたま宝くじに当たった人が、当たっていない人に向かって、「あなた、なんでまだ当たっていないの？」と聞くようなものだ。それを親切心（を装った優越感）で言っているから余計に腹立たしい。もちろん、そういう人ばかりじゃないけど、極論すると、労働の義務も、納税の義務も果たしている独身者よりも、その2つを果たしていない子持ちの主婦の方がえらいっていうの？ どちらがえらいなんてない。それぞれの人生を、それぞれで選んで生きているだけなのに。社会通念化した価値観は恐ろしい。慣習に限りなく近くなり、理由を問うことも、理屈を付けることもされなくなり、ただそれが絶対悪／絶対善となって人々の心に植えつけられる。
今度言われた時のために、ぐうの音も出ないように冷静に反撃するにはどうしたら良いか。自分でもしょうもないと思うが、自分は幸せだよーあなた、なぜそうしないの？と相手を不幸だと決め付ける人には我慢ならない。相手がどう感じるか予想できたら、そんなことが言えるかしら。
人をいらいらさせない話し方って、実は、「話さない」ことだったりして。
8.27.2013
苗字
今日ある人の苗字を説明しようとして、
「お宅の宅に、間（あいだ）という字です」
と言ったら、
「え、おたくのたくはカタカナでしょう」
と言われた。
爆笑…。
おたくって言ったら、「お宅（ご尊宅）」じゃなくて、「オタク（アキバ系）」が出てくるわけですね。そりゃあ、カタカナの言葉を言われても、漢字の説明にならないよね。ってか、察してくださいよ。苗字の説明をしてるんだから…と、非常に面白かった。。
世の中には読めない苗字がゴマンとある。
「雲丹亀」さんなんて、最初に会ったときに固まってしまいそうだ。「うにがめ」さんと読むらしい。ウニとカメ…海沿いの地域にゆかりがあるのでしょう。面白すぎる。が、入力や電話などしないといけないとなると非常に厄介である。
「お宅の宅に、間（あいだ）という字です」
と言ったら、
「え、おたくのたくはカタカナでしょう」
と言われた。
爆笑…。
おたくって言ったら、「お宅（ご尊宅）」じゃなくて、「オタク（アキバ系）」が出てくるわけですね。そりゃあ、カタカナの言葉を言われても、漢字の説明にならないよね。ってか、察してくださいよ。苗字の説明をしてるんだから…と、非常に面白かった。。
世の中には読めない苗字がゴマンとある。
「雲丹亀」さんなんて、最初に会ったときに固まってしまいそうだ。「うにがめ」さんと読むらしい。ウニとカメ…海沿いの地域にゆかりがあるのでしょう。面白すぎる。が、入力や電話などしないといけないとなると非常に厄介である。
8.26.2013
Japanese junior high school - the hardest place, but don't waste your time!
So, I talked with my colleague about someone whose daughter has been refusing to go to school since April. She is in the first year in junior high school, and has been to school for only a few times. Her mum (our common acquaintance) does not know what to do and already gave up. It seems she always lets her daughter just stay at home alone.
It is becoming a common problem recently (I even read a long article about hikikomori in Japan on BBC). I wonder if she asked her daughter why she doesn't want to go to school, and together think about how they can solve the problem. It may be obvious to others, but maybe her parents don't know: she will be dependent on her parents at home forever because of lack of education, which will probably be followed by a lack of job, but sooner or later, she will have to support herself. When it happens, the deprivation of education as well as little interaction with people will make it very difficult for her to go back to the real world. The more she stays away from school, the harder for her to go back to school as well. She's already got piles of homework to catch up with her classmates. The pressure and the sense of inferiority will make it far more depressing. They are
On the other hand, I totally understand how it feels not to want to go to school. In my case, my childish (almost baby-like) classmates, bullying, obstruction of classes were constantly giving me a headache, and I was always frustrated, stressed and irritated. What made me keep going to school was the fact that I knew already at the time: that without graduating junior high school, there's no way to a good high school and university, and eventually to a decent job. I kind of knew that it was not economically wise to skip school, even if I really wanted to.
I don't know her situation and what keeps her from school. What's most important is that her parents listen to her and accept whatever she feels. It's the most basic thing. A child will be relieved when they know that they have supporters that will listen to them. If she is bullied, protect her. If she is reluctant to study, encourage her and tell her the importance of education. My grandmother once told me that I was lucky to be able to go to school because she had to work and give up going to high school even though she had a top grade. She was chagrined at it. What we take for granted was not accessible to everyone. If she is spoiled, then her parents should not leave her that way because it will only cause troubles to her life. I don't think her refusing to go to school started suddenly. That's how they brought her up. It depends whether it's good to convince her to go or take other measures like seeing a counselor or changing schools, but either way, her parents need to talk to her not just let her alone.
Raising kids is tough especially in Japan, and especially in the countryside where rumors spread fast and old traditions conflict with the way of thinking of new generations. (It's unfair because we cannot choose where and to whom we are born, but we should be grateful that we are born at least in a safe, war-free country.)
Again, I very much understand that a school is not a pleasant place to be in, but it's slightly better than just chill out at home not doing anything. It's a waste of time for such a young mind. She can even go to a foreign junior high school for a better opportunity!
It is becoming a common problem recently (I even read a long article about hikikomori in Japan on BBC). I wonder if she asked her daughter why she doesn't want to go to school, and together think about how they can solve the problem. It may be obvious to others, but maybe her parents don't know: she will be dependent on her parents at home forever because of lack of education, which will probably be followed by a lack of job, but sooner or later, she will have to support herself. When it happens, the deprivation of education as well as little interaction with people will make it very difficult for her to go back to the real world. The more she stays away from school, the harder for her to go back to school as well. She's already got piles of homework to catch up with her classmates. The pressure and the sense of inferiority will make it far more depressing. They are
On the other hand, I totally understand how it feels not to want to go to school. In my case, my childish (almost baby-like) classmates, bullying, obstruction of classes were constantly giving me a headache, and I was always frustrated, stressed and irritated. What made me keep going to school was the fact that I knew already at the time: that without graduating junior high school, there's no way to a good high school and university, and eventually to a decent job. I kind of knew that it was not economically wise to skip school, even if I really wanted to.
I don't know her situation and what keeps her from school. What's most important is that her parents listen to her and accept whatever she feels. It's the most basic thing. A child will be relieved when they know that they have supporters that will listen to them. If she is bullied, protect her. If she is reluctant to study, encourage her and tell her the importance of education. My grandmother once told me that I was lucky to be able to go to school because she had to work and give up going to high school even though she had a top grade. She was chagrined at it. What we take for granted was not accessible to everyone. If she is spoiled, then her parents should not leave her that way because it will only cause troubles to her life. I don't think her refusing to go to school started suddenly. That's how they brought her up. It depends whether it's good to convince her to go or take other measures like seeing a counselor or changing schools, but either way, her parents need to talk to her not just let her alone.
Raising kids is tough especially in Japan, and especially in the countryside where rumors spread fast and old traditions conflict with the way of thinking of new generations. (It's unfair because we cannot choose where and to whom we are born, but we should be grateful that we are born at least in a safe, war-free country.)
Again, I very much understand that a school is not a pleasant place to be in, but it's slightly better than just chill out at home not doing anything. It's a waste of time for such a young mind. She can even go to a foreign junior high school for a better opportunity!
8.24.2013
Italian lunch 2
Entrée: Salad with figs and prawns
Pasta: Grain-like pasta with seafood
Main: Grilled sea bream
Desert: Milky rice (?) with mango ice cream and cranberry juice
It was a little bit strange place in many ways, and my family agreed that we would never come back, regrettably.
8.19.2013
Incident
So busy with troubleshooting...
It's none if our fault yet people talk as if it was. It's sad, unreasonable, and frustrating. It takes this whole week at least to deal with everything necessary.
Sigh... What's the motive of causing so much trouble to this small company in the countryside??? We are all furious!!
So why one can be so moody?
A friendly smile just after yelling is totally incomprehensible. How come are you shouting at him for such a small thing? The way he scolds at him is not out of kindness or good will to teach his report; he just let his anger explode the way he likes. What makes worse is that it's totally unknown what makes him angry, even a very trivial thing that seems to be nothing to us can. Urgh..
A leader, especially in this emergency, should be extra tolerant and kind so that the employees will unite to tackle the problem as a whole. His attitude makes everyone even more uncomfortable and frustrated. It seemed insane to me. The question is how to deal with it. Talking back just fuels his anger when he's screaming illogically. How can one be so mean and ignorant to other people's feelings? It's sad that he will be avoided for the reason he will never know, though.
It's none if our fault yet people talk as if it was. It's sad, unreasonable, and frustrating. It takes this whole week at least to deal with everything necessary.
Sigh... What's the motive of causing so much trouble to this small company in the countryside??? We are all furious!!
So why one can be so moody?
A friendly smile just after yelling is totally incomprehensible. How come are you shouting at him for such a small thing? The way he scolds at him is not out of kindness or good will to teach his report; he just let his anger explode the way he likes. What makes worse is that it's totally unknown what makes him angry, even a very trivial thing that seems to be nothing to us can. Urgh..
A leader, especially in this emergency, should be extra tolerant and kind so that the employees will unite to tackle the problem as a whole. His attitude makes everyone even more uncomfortable and frustrated. It seemed insane to me. The question is how to deal with it. Talking back just fuels his anger when he's screaming illogically. How can one be so mean and ignorant to other people's feelings? It's sad that he will be avoided for the reason he will never know, though.
8.07.2013
Heat wave
OMG
I'll melt><
I felt a cool breeze yesterday evening though.. It made me feel the summer has passed its peak, but not yet, it seems. ~_~;
On the way to the beach
There was a road that was so close to the water with no boundary!! We drove very carefully so that we won't fall into the sea. The road will be under water when the tide is high!
The beach we headed had black rough gravels all over. No white sand that will stick to your legs, and so it makes it easier to wade in the water.
Marine day
8.04.2013
Thai dinner
We watched fireworks from the window, too! It was a lovely place that I'll sure be visiting again :D
Anticipation
"Not to expect anything"? No, it's not realistic. We sure do expect for some things that seem reasonable.
The question is how to deal with the disappointment, rather than how to ignore it.
The question is how to deal with the disappointment, rather than how to ignore it.
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