So, I talked with my colleague about someone whose daughter has been refusing to go to school since April. She is in the first year in junior high school, and has been to school for only a few times. Her mum (our common acquaintance) does not know what to do and already gave up. It seems she always lets her daughter just stay at home alone.
It is becoming a common problem recently (I even read a long article about hikikomori in Japan on BBC). I wonder if she asked her daughter why she doesn't want to go to school, and together think about how they can solve the problem. It may be obvious to others, but maybe her parents don't know: she will be dependent on her parents at home forever because of lack of education, which will probably be followed by a lack of job, but sooner or later, she will have to support herself. When it happens, the deprivation of education as well as little interaction with people will make it very difficult for her to go back to the real world. The more she stays away from school, the harder for her to go back to school as well. She's already got piles of homework to catch up with her classmates. The pressure and the sense of inferiority will make it far more depressing. They are
On the other hand, I totally understand how it feels not to want to go to school. In my case, my childish (almost baby-like) classmates, bullying, obstruction of classes were constantly giving me a headache, and I was always frustrated, stressed and irritated. What made me keep going to school was the fact that I knew already at the time: that without graduating junior high school, there's no way to a good high school and university, and eventually to a decent job. I kind of knew that it was not economically wise to skip school, even if I really wanted to.
I don't know her situation and what keeps her from school. What's most important is that her parents listen to her and accept whatever she feels. It's the most basic thing. A child will be relieved when they know that they have supporters that will listen to them. If she is bullied, protect her. If she is reluctant to study, encourage her and tell her the importance of education. My grandmother once told me that I was lucky to be able to go to school because she had to work and give up going to high school even though she had a top grade. She was chagrined at it. What we take for granted was not accessible to everyone. If she is spoiled, then her parents should not leave her that way because it will only cause troubles to her life. I don't think her refusing to go to school started suddenly. That's how they brought her up. It depends whether it's good to convince her to go or take other measures like seeing a counselor or changing schools, but either way, her parents need to talk to her not just let her alone.
Raising kids is tough especially in Japan, and especially in the countryside where rumors spread fast and old traditions conflict with the way of thinking of new generations. (It's unfair because we cannot choose where and to whom we are born, but we should be grateful that we are born at least in a safe, war-free country.)
Again, I very much understand that a school is not a pleasant place to be in, but it's slightly better than just chill out at home not doing anything. It's a waste of time for such a young mind. She can even go to a foreign junior high school for a better opportunity!
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