A late winter walk on campus

After we hit the negative (in F!) temperature, it's going to upper 30s.  Still cold, but the sign of spring is here.

The river is frozen and snow falls on it.  It's hard to tell it's a river.  

 

Sunny but cold weekend

Hard to see but it's snowing.

Going back and forth of below and above freezing temps.  Not too bad, but I just want to be able to walk normally.  It's been super helpful that my friend is going grocery shopping with me on weekends by car.  It's also nice to catch up with friends after not seeing them in person for a long time.

How long does it take for things to get back to normal?  I can't wait, and with the hope of vaccine on site, waiting has become even harder.    

 

授業と解析とリクルーター

めちゃいろいろあった一日だった。

グループ課題の発表。なんか結局何が何だか分からないままティームメイトがやって書いてくれたコードで一件落着。やっぱ computational scientists と渡り合うなんて無謀だな。植物学の知識を使って、データをどう解釈するかにエネルギーを使ったほうがよほど実がある。ほんとに何もしていないので課題をすり抜けた感がある。何も学んでないけどな。コードの書き方を教えるかどうするか…指導陣にとっても難しいとこだろな。あと2つの課題かー　あんま時間をかけずにやりすごしたい。マジで博論書かないと。

去年の夏くらいから書いてた論文がまたもやほぼ全とっかえを余儀なくされてさすがに受け入れ難かった。genotypic diversity も phenotypic diversity も GWAS

 もイチからかい。これ、またイチからやってもまた後日やり直しみたいなことになりそうでやだな。　ただでさえ論文書いては送り、修正案が出され、また書いては送り、今度は違うところの修正案が出され、の行きつ戻りつで「いっぺんに言うてくれんかな？！」となってたのに。まーもうやるしかないんだけど。卒業間に合うのかな？？？　いかに作業を速くするか…何度目の正直かわからないが、とりあえず作業のとこはバンバン終わらせたい。はーーー　

最近卒業したクラスメイトに愚痴ったら、彼女もすごく似たことを経験してて、とんでもない解析やり直し、論文修正を食らっていた。まじか。ホントに誰が何してるかわからないもんだな……。解析をやり直すハメになるのは極めてふつうのことらしい。たしかに。。ま、在宅で、解析にだけ向き合えて、優しい上司がいて、このご時世に仕事があるだけでありがたいのだ。ほんとにそうなのだ。

マッキンゼーの採用担当からメッセージが来た。私の経歴のどこらへんがコンサルに向いていると判断したのか教えてほしい。明らかに研究畑の人間なのに。コンサルの一日とかちょっと読んだけど、睡眠時間がこの頃4-5時間なので少し眠い、とか書かれてあってマジですかと思った。22時帰社って何？？？　それを公開する時点で、現状はもっとひどいのだろう。目が点になった。。社会学の本で読んだとおり、日本は、先進国じゃないのかもしれない…。そう思えばなんか色んなことに納得がいく。社会保障も行き渡ってないし、長時間労働は蔓延してるし、汚職も蔓延してるし、男尊女卑だし。そうか、とすれば、発展途上国からアメリカとかに来て、もう祖国に戻りたくないと思う気持ちもよくわかる。祖国が帰りたくない場所だなんて複雑な気持ちだ。ともかくもマッキンゼーは丁重にお断りした。プロジェクトごとに人を集めてやるのは面白そうだけど、そんな対人、プレゼン、アドバイスの仕事内容なんてどこを取っても向いてない。

最近のモットーはメールでもメッセージでも即返すこと。仕事は生もの、連絡も生もの！鮮度が大事！　

もう明日は木曜なのか？？！？！　2月は逃げる。

マイナス20Cの朝だった。

Snowstorm, winter weather advisory, and then a clear day

Winter storm hit all over the US! Even Texas got snow.  It's interesting how people can get used to snow in northern states, and how people in the south are not prepared for snow and ice.  There were some accidents on icy roads.  I hope people drive safe and slow.

Roads are now sludgy!  A truck splashed a mix of melting ice and mud... but it's OK, I can just brush it off.  Drive slow by pedestrians!  

Snow in the sun is beautiful, and a walk under the sun makes my day.  But I need to keep warm... I wasn't able to fall asleep because I was cold; so glad I have an electronic blanket.  It's an asset to have.  It will be sub-zero (in F!) tonight - gotta be wrapped up in blankets!!

晴れた日の散歩はいくら気温が－8℃でも気持ちいいし歩くと汗が出る。巨大トラックに氷と泥の混ざったのをかけられてもまあ許してやるわ、となる。　

明日の朝は－20℃だって！！　冷凍庫…。

 

Writing Saturday

 I literally spent a whole day on Saturday writing and finishing up my second paper. I don't know why but today I felt motivated to write a lot more than usual.  So just seize the day and write all day without even eating breakfast or lunch.  I was super productive still feeling residual writing momentum.

I've been writing this paper since last August, and I've made a lot of edits to it.  Every time I edited I think it's approved but then comes the next round of edits feedback advise and more work to connect all the paragraphs coherently.

Good sleep is really important to be able to focus on writing because writing Demands a lot of mental power to think and to put your thoughts into words.  If this is about simple things like daily life,  writing about it will be easy and pleasant.  But if it's about complex Concepts hard to grasp genetics and discussions that you need to it right off the reading so many papers, it's anything but a piece of cake.

Anyways, the second paper is almost done. That means half of my dissertation is done.  I think and I hope that the second half will be easier because now I know how to do it.. 

It was snowy all day today and it was frigid cold.  A perfect date to be stuck at home and write.

Walk on a winter morning at 5F!

It surprised me how refreshing it is to take just a 15-min walk on a cold yet sunny day with no clouds.  It lifts my spirit quite a bit.  I feel energized so much, and it makes me think that we humans do photosynthesis in a sense that we get energy from being in the sun.   

Snow removal is really 

Gosh, it feels GREAT

Standing icicles

 

A week packed with online meetings

 Crazy busy this week with lots of Zoom meetings!!  It's nice to be able to interact with people even though on an online platform.  It's better than nothing.  And I don't have to worry about time difference, either. 

A friend said online meetings are tiring because you cannot see the other persons gestures, emotions, body language, eye contact etc.  We unknowingly try to see what others are thinking using the information we get not just from hearing others but with many other non-verbal cues.  So, when we are limited with information about others - just a tiny square of people's face on a computer screen - we get stressed by the inability to 'read' people's mind.  I never thought that way.. but it's true.  I don't find not being able to read people's feelings particularly tiring, but it is true that it's hard to see what others are thinking or feeling.

In online meetings with 10-20 people, it gets even worse - you will be overwhelmed by limited amount of information - and that can be super stressful, in addition to the eye strain and backache associated with the long use of computer screen.

Yet, working from home seems to have become a norm, or at least a part of life now.  WFH has pros and cons, I like it especially on a cold day (3F) like today!!

Snow is blue early in the morning.

Here's a fluffy chair cushion!

Frozen Red Cedar river.  People walk on it, but I'm not brave enough to do that... 

 

Nature hike and bonfire - socializing day

Really smokey when near the fire, but it feels warm and nice.  It reminds me of the new year's celebration we used to have on new year's eve in my grandparent's community.  Those were the days, and the smell brings back memories more vividly than any other sense. 

S'more on a wooden stick. 

melted mashmarrow, chocolate, and graham crackers.  Simple yet superb.

I went for a hike in a nature park with some friends and has a bonfire with another group of friends.  It was the first social interaction in person in January!  It was so good that I feel connected with people again, and it felt like I belong here. One of them said she smiled for the first time in weeks today.   Studying at home everyday alone is depressing.. it's been less than a month since I came back to Michigan and it's kind of tough already.   Luckily I have a friend who is also living by herself so we just hang out outdoors whenever possible, and we were talking about going grocery shopping together, since it's one of the very few activities allowed at this moment.  My university just issued a directive to basically stay at home with no gathering, no gyms, no study lounges for the next two weeks.  I mean I understand the purpose, but it can be really hard... Just gotta through it by keeping ourselves busy and occupied. 

Unsaid and unheard but existent

It happens that I only say a few things of all of my thoughts.  I'm prudent of voice out my feelings and opinions, but nowadays I feel like 'Oh, I had a complement (or thanks) to someone. Why didn't I tell it to them?'  It makes me think that there are many positive thoughts and comments that aren't actually said but are present in people's mind.  They are not heard, but it doesn't mean they don't exist.  We only get a couple of them from time to time when they are actually said, given a chance to be delivered to others.  In that sense,  it is naive and optimistic of me but it feels like we are surrounded by much more positive thoughts than we actually say or hear, and those which actually come into life are very precious.

So... There's a reason to be optimistic about life despite everything abnormal happening right now (or for a year).