What am I doing? I ask myself everyday so many times day and night. I never regret my decision but feel pity for many things about myself.
I wonder how they smile despite everything.
I wonder how they deal with everyday difficulties.
I think they are busier than me, but still they are bright and happy. It's more of personality... and it's given!
What am I doing? Thinking negative things, OK, giving off a big sigh, understand, and grumbling to my friends. It's easy to say "appreciate what you have", but it doesn't feel real when things are stressful and frustrating. It's silly that it was my choice. The only thing I can do is to laugh at myself holding tears. I know I have sufficient income, food, shelter, clothes, friends, family, health, some or all of which are hard to get for some people. I understand. Yet piles of work overwhelm me and cannot get rid of it from my mind day and night. urgh...
I hope some day I can recall this moment and say it was a good experience. At least I was able to know what I place importance on and what I don't like.
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