The problem is...

I'm a bit sad seeing other undergrads setting the roles they will be in charge of next year and I won't be with them.... It is not the only thing, though.

I love my study now and found that my advisee is one of the pioneer of this GBAP field we are working on. It was so fortunate for me to get the opportunity to work for him and to be taught by him. He and many ex-students publish a lot of articles year after year and it seems that I would probably also be able to publish something if I continue this work for 2 more years.

Pathogenicity-related diseases attracts me much more than studies of alcohol or bio fermentation. But it took me almost a year to like the field of my current research. I need changes some time, and I love them, but it is also true that it takes some time to get used to it and start to like it.

It would be a great honor if I could get some results (actually I think we are almost there) and contribute to sum up the findings into an article. I simply wonder... did I throw away a big chance?

It might have been a little bit early to make the decision to start working even though I was tired of being a university student, financially dependent on my parents. When the time I decided to start job-hunting, I was wondering what I was doing. I attended classes every day where some teachers are not so good at teaching and had experimental classes, wrote some papers, took exams and had 2-month-holiday twice a year. I thought I was wasting one third of a year and I felt sorry for my parents paying the tuition every semester. It just seemed to be the time to start working, doing something with what I have learned.

But now, things have changed. I have plenty of chances to do something with the knowledge I have got (still fighting, though). I have my own reserch objective which nobody else are doing. It is hard, but quite worth trying and worth dedicating myself. If only I had a little more patience, I would have chosen to proceed to the masters' course. I'm not saying that I'm going to waste 2 months from now on because of the shortage of time, but... I only wish, though.

Nobody knows, however, what the future would be. I really have to establish something wherever I am. I want some working experience, which will help me to be a better scientist, a microbiologist (fluent in English of course). I know I should stick to my first decision setting aside my emotions. I think I have got cold feet. Just taking to myself.